"He who is willing to sacrifice freedom for safety deserves neither freedom nor safety." - Ben Franklin
"One useless man is called a disgrace; two useless men are called a law firm; and three or more useless men are a congress" - John Adams
Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons.
"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it."--Mark Twain
Found this in my email box today... Thought we needed the chuckle...
Reuters - 14 April 2005 0953 GMT
VATICAN CITY - In a turn of events that stunned Vatican officials, U.S. President George W. Bush has been named to succeed John Paul II as the next leader of the Catholic Church.
For the first time in history, the College of Cardinals employed electronic voting machines to select the next Supreme Pontiff.
Bush won by a margin of 2,528 votes, despite the fact that only 115 Cardinals took part in the process.
The machines, which were last used in the 2004 presidential election, also registered 27 votes for Democratic candidate John Kerry.
"It's a miracle!" cried Kenneth Blackwell, spokesperson for voting machine manufacturer Diebold Corporation. "God has spoken."
Supporters of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, whom early exit polls had leading by a comfortable margin in the voting, demanded a recount.
Blackwell said there was no need for a recount, because the voting machines, which had been modified to emit a plume of white smoke when a plurality was reached, would produce the same count again. "That's how they were programmed," he assured reporters. "Diebold machines are infalible."
When informed of his victory, President Bush expressed surprise. "I was not aware I was running for the popecy," he said. "I wish people would tell me these things."
However, he added that he would be "honored and privileged to serve as Supreme Pontoon for the rest of my natural life, or until I die, whichever comes first
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